Tuesday, December 30, 2014

A Vocabulary Memoir Part One

So sue me. This was to debut on January 1, but I decided to write one day after my birthday.

Perhaps my birthday triggered this writing stream because it was spent with the baby Lindsey and she is my vocabulary partners as well as best buddy--not to mention my daughter.

I said not to mention it.

So until I get bored I am going to write vocabulary memoir for the next several sessions, until I don't want to write about it any more.

You say you have never heard of vocabulary memoir? That is because I created it. I have created many things you have never heard of. Most are not available in stores.

How is your vocabulary? Mine is off the charts and I don't happen to have the charts with me to refer to at this time.

Take a word like circumnavigate. Lindsey will ask me if I know the meaning and of course, she expects that i do. Lindsey has a great vocabulary as well. After all, she is my daughter.

Circumnavigate is a power word. What is a power word you ask? Well, even if you don't ask, I am going to tell you anyway. A power word is a word that should be included in your vocabulary. It's like one of the words you need to know to make you smart. In fact, I picked up this little book on my birthday, 100 Words To Make You Smart. Of course, I know all the words in this book. So I guess I must be real smart. But I could have told you that.

I will refer to the words on that list and most should be power words.

What is a non power word.

An example would be epistemology. It might be important to someone, but I just turned 65 and I haven't seen a use for it yet.

Lindsey asked me if her optometrist went to medical school. I told her no.

Optometrists aren't medical doctors. They don't deal with diseases of the eyes. They deal with glasses and contact lenses.

If you deal with diseases of the eye, you are an eye doctor. D you know that the word is? Maybe I will tell you next time. Maybe I won't. I can be mercurial like that. Mercurial is an example of another power vocabulary word.

My point is that there are words you need to know and words that are better left to dictionaries because taht is where they are meant to remain untouched.

Most people wouldn't know a medical doctor from a chiropractor. They have never bothered to learn doctor specialties. They wouldn't know a neurosurgeon from an endocrinologist and they could care less. That is because most people are morons. If you don't believe this, you are a moron yourself. But you knew that already.

Once, 30 years ago, a doctor told me I had months to live because of something horrible he saw in my eye. Perhaps he saw an early cataract? Of course, he wasn't a doctor. A real doctor. He was an optometrist. 30 years later, I am scheduling cataract surgery. Thanks for the warning, doc.

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