Sunday, September 14, 2014

Casey's Message to Kids

Oh somewhere in this joyous land, the sun is shining bright.
And somewhere bands are playing and somewhere hearts are light.
And somewhere, men are laughing and kids learn about Tallahassee and Tucson,
And Casey repeats his message to kids: NO MATTER WHAT--PLAY ON!

Friday, September 12, 2014

Reunion

When did I first thinking about killing someone from my class at the high school reunion?

I must admit I had the idea for some time.

I attended my 40th and it was my very first time. There were no murders.

I knew then that my next reunion would include a murder.

I just didn't know who, where, when, who or how.

I just knew it would happen.

I would give them something to talk about at their reunion.

And they would never stop talking about it--for the rest of their lives.

****************

I woke up that Monday following my first Reunion with a migraine. Once I had suffered with these cluster headaches, but that seemed long ago.

There was an authoritative knock at the door.

"New York City Police!"

Police?

Was this a joke.

Upon opening the door, I had no sense this was a joke.

"We want to talk with you about a murder."

Apparently, my story had begun without me writing a single word.

What just happened?

What had I done in the past 24 hours?

********************
The police left after an hour. Apparently, there had been a murder last night at the Reunion Hotel.

I called my friend Harry and arranged to meet him for dinner.

All seemed well until he paused and offered:

"Should I be scared?"

Now, I knew Harry was hiding something. He might have been kidding , but he was only half kidding . I wasn't a suspect, yet. But how had this happened? Was I blacking out again?

**********************

When I returned home, I walked upstairs to my desk and a single white sheet of paper demanded my attention.

A list of questions.

1. How many reunions have you been to?

2. Which ones (10th, 25th, 40th)

3. Describe your experience. Did any thing in particular surprise you?

4. Did you have a former boyfriend/girlfriend come to the Reunion?

5. What was that like?

6. Why did you go or why would you have gone if you had the opportunity?

7. Were you popular in high school?

8. How have you changed since graduation?

9. Did you have a great class? What would be the highs and lows of those who were your classmates.

10. Would you attend one more?

*****************
And one final question

Bonus: Would you still attend if you knew that someone would be murdered before the Reunion was over?

**************************
Before I could sense the meaning of this mysterious list, my cell rang.

It was Swifty, my literary agent. If he was going to continue to read me the riot act for my failed Casey's Church Tour, I was prepared to hang up on him.

Instead, he had the tone of my new best friend. What was going on here?

"Have you read any of the texts I have been sending you?" Swifty shouted.

I didn't bother telling him that I don't read texts. I didn't have to. Swifty was like a locomotive. Once he got started--there was little hope to slow him down.

"Are you sitting down?"

I remained silent.

"Bushwick Books wants to give you a 3 million dollar advance for High School Reunion Murders. What do you think of that?

I think at that moment--I did sit down and might have even passed out.

3 Million dollars?

A book?

What book?

And then my head began to swim.

I woke up in a hospital bed and Swifty was still talking. Had he ever stopped?

************************************

Friday, September 05, 2014

I Have a Dream

I have performed Casey at the Bat for thousands of audiences.

My first performance was in my teens when I shared my funny parody with teammates while we traveled the dusty roads of Suffolk County en route to schools in Lindenhurst, Bayville, Amityville, and others.

Now, I enjoy entertaining groups closer to paradise in San Diego.

I particularly like making audiences laugh who are involved in fund raising with a charity or cause I like.

The picture would be complete if I located someone who was as good on the phone booking as I am on the stage.

Do you know of
such a person?

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

My Search for Thayer

I must admit that I became fascinated with the man who created my legacy long after  he departed.

A fan must have sent me this blurb when Thayer passed away several decades after my ball playing had come to an end.

Thayer's recitation of it at a Harvard class reunion in 1895 may seem trivial except that it helps solve the mystery, which lingered into the 20th century, of who had written it. In the mid-1890s, Thayer contributed several other comic poems for Hearst's New York Journal and then turned to overseeing his family's mills in Worcester full-time.
Thayer moved to Santa Barbara in 1912, where he married Rosalind Buel Hammett and retired. He died in 1940, at age 77.
The New York Times' obituary of Thayer on August 22, 1940, p. 19 quotes comedian DeWolf Hopper, who helped make the poem famous:
"Thayer indubitably wrote 'Casey,' but he could not recite it.... I have heard many others give 'Casey.' Fond mamas have brought their sons to me to hear their childish voices lisp the poem, but Thayer's was the worst of all. In a sweet, dulcet Harvard whisper he implored 'Casey' to murder the umpire, and gave this cry of mass animal rage all the emphasis of a caterpillar wearing rubbers crawling on a velvet carpet. He was rotten."
So I made it my business to meet this character DeWolf Hopper, who I believe to this day, was making money each time he took the stage and used my name without my consent.

I heard he was a Hollywood type, so I put my friend, Spanky who knew anyone and everyone, to put out word that I was looking for him.

I think it was some hole in the wall bar in New York City when Hopper and I first met.

It didn't go well.

He was bouncing around the restaurant as if he was Tinker Bell, table hopping and pushing a dessert, I recollect was called Brown Betty.

When he returned to our table, he ordered such dessert and was flummoxed when he was advised that the eatery was fresh out.

With that, he took a napkin, wiped his long face and made a beeline to the front5 door.

I would never see him again.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Ice Bucket Challenge

Much confusion around this challenge.

Many simple minds think that accepting the challenge to have a bucket of ice water over your head is a response to saving money and not donating to ALS to find a cure.

Are people that stupid?

I am afraid to answer that question.

I will say this. My Casey at the Bat one man show raises money for ALS and organizations nationwide.

If you are a writer and communicator who would like to assist me performing in front of more audiences, I want to speak with you.

How is that for a challenge
you can wrap your head around?



Sunday, August 17, 2014

Here is My Offer

Here is my offer.

I have mentored writers worldwide to use their writing skills and become online coaches.

Now, I am looking for a few budding coaches to take the leads provided by my sales staff and close the new coaching candidate, choose your fee and retain 100% of such fee.

There is a one-time marketing charge for you to join me as I put together another solid round of coaches.

Some coaches specialize in providing writing analysis.

Others enjoy having their brains picked for lifestyle questions, goals and career paths.

I get writers to think out of the box and pursue answering questions online from those leads provided by my sales genies.

The sales team I select are those who have an extensive social media presence.

Often, they can find a client for you in less than a week.

One client can be your break-even point on  your way to building a massive coaching income, using a skill you have always had, but never considered as a coaching tool.

Those who replay will be able to examine my large online audience.

I have made hundreds from some clients and thousands from others.

It is a great activity for writers who love spending time online and working independently doing what they love most--write!

Only serious replies will be considered.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

45 Games Left and Don't you Know?

The Yankees limp into Baltimore Monday night with their season gasping for oxygen.

This isn't a Yankee team with star power that can turn these final 7 weeks into a post season, even with the extra wild card added this season.

No, this is an old team. A team with Jeter hitting ground balls, Beltran, limited to DH duties, a third baseman suspended for the season and multiple pitchers on the DL.

This team will go home in October and most likely the Yankees will begin the overhaul directly after and make changes, starting with the GM.

Is there one mistake that the team made which led to their downfall?

I can't say that, because injuries to pitchers and position players is a crapshoot.

I will say this. I criticized the Yanks for not signing Robinson Cano. It was a move which made no sense for the team and to me, little sense for the player.

Now, it seems that Cano will have the last laugh.

He is closer with his Mariners to the playoffs and the Yankees are closer to the golf course full time.

There seems only a few issues the Yanks have to clear up.

There destiny for this season seems to be written on the wall.

Will Derek play his final game at Yankee Stadium instead of in the final series at Fenway on the final weekend of the season.

Here is the saddest thing.

By then, it might be a moot question.