Thursday, May 02, 2013

I think I Know why, Sir

When I had to deal with Vietnam in the crazy early 1970’s, I decided to be tested for OCS Navy for a program which would send me to Newport, Rhode Island and keep me out of the Army and let me ride out the war as a naval officer. I visited my local navy recruiting office and met with Chief Manny who introduced me to Jim, who was in the navy and hoping to use his knowledge to move up as an officer. I was 20 years old. After we took the intelligence tests, Chief Manny comes into the room and delivers what has become for me the classic story of lack of subtlety. I have made millions as a pen pal. And I can teach you---but only if you can prove you are as lazy as me Chief Manny begins his monologue with a few one liners. “I have good news and I have bad news and the bad news is you, Jim. You failed to achieve even the minimum score.” I breathed a sigh of relief as the news was obliquely delivered that I was on my way to Officer Candidate School, but my testing partner was being blown up by this callous crocodile. The chief was just getting started. “We were all rooting for you, Jim. We thought, surely, someone with your background and training, your years in the navy, would excel in these tests, but you blew it big time, my friend. You were the big loser here tonight.” My good news was now being mixed with my sympathy for the navy veteran. Like a true champion, he stood next to me and took the chief’s diatribe like the real man he was. He tried to deflect the sting. “I think I know why, sir,” were words he delivered to numb the blow. But the chief still had some more bombs to deliver as parting gifts. Dear Zoltan Google me and see how motivational I really am. And $99 to my paypal gives you a 30 day audience to learn my formula how motivational you can be and how it can attract money to you daily for the rest of your life. “So, you now must leave, Jim. You see, Steve nailed this exam with flying colors and he is off to Officer Candidate School and you---well, you are heading home. So, goodbye Jim!” And Jim slowly slunk into the night and I was given a few more months how I could best join him on the sidelines. It has made for a funny story over the years, but still I feel for Jim, still picturing him mumbling into the night. I think I know why, sir.

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