Saturday, March 23, 2013

House of Lies

Story today about how auto dealers are being busted for dealing in the party drug nitrous oxide. Nothing like following the news which brings the story of your life into focus. Like the time when I was the star of the show House of Lies. This would be before Don Cheadle took over the part, ostensibly because thy wanted a black man in the role. I was hired to help this DDS revitalize his practice. He had no idea how to market and within a few months, I had his waiting room jumping and had helped him open a family dental center. How did he reward me? He invited me to a nitrous party? Now if you have ever had nitrous for a dental procedure, you might follow along here. And I said might. First, I asked him to pull a nagging tooth of mine and of course, I was inviting him to give me Nitrous. It is also called laughing gas, not that anyone is laughing. The drug distorts time and makes one act as if they are smashed. I act silly when I am not smashed, so forced smashness is a stretch. In the middle of the procedure, I believe my tooth has been pulled and the doc is having trouble stopping the bleeding. I see the dental assistents, who for some reason, are dressed in only their bra and panties, screaming and being ordered to dial 911. The doc is yelling that he can’t stop the bleeding and I realize that this is the last memory I am going to have in my life. Laughing gas? Where the Don Cheadle is the joke in all that?

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