Have you Written an Old Boyfriend or Girlfriend?

I haven't published in over a month.

Nothing to write about.

Changing my living situation took priority, but that seems to ahve a plan for now, so I muse again and commit such musings to print.

I have been divorced for 18 months now.

Am I over it?

The marriage part I was over with pretty soon.

The betrayal part will live with me.

The 3 years or so lost in seeing my daughter daily until she goes to college might be the greatest blow of all.

So, I guess I am not over it.

I am not out there seeking love again.

I don't know if I will until it comes in my direction.

Instead, I catch up with old friends (my high school reunion in NY last year), students I taught in Florida in the 70's and 80's and even one of my first girlfriends who I will identify as "R".

I tracked down W using old reliable zabasearch after striking out on and off since the Internet was invented.

Seems she moved to the midwest from NY and has a career, husband, kids and all the best things I would wish her.

But she was reluctant to tell me about any of it.

I hope she reads this and tells me honestly why she is so reluctant.

I can imagine the reasonss, but like the hardhead I am, I would like to know them.

I fiest called her home a few months back and spoke with her husband.

He was cool, but not cold.

He promised me that R would call back.

When she didn't, I wrote her.

When she didn't reply, I wrote one final time.

Probably to prevent me from stalking her by mail, she wrote back a pleasant note with a very clear undertone.

Don't continue this further.

Her message was simply "we have kids, we have grown up, we have moved on, so don't bother ma any more.

At least taht's what I got out of it.

Was I bothering her to inquire as to how her life turned out.

If you have contacted an old boyfriend or girlfriend, I would like to know if you have had the same experience.

I am sure R felt that my next step, if she responed with any warmth would have been to intensify the relationship.

Nothing could be farther from my mind.

As I said, I am not looking for love.

If it retuens to me, it's going to have to hit me sqaure in the cheeks, not reside in a midwest state.

Still, I see her point as well.

To date, I have restrained from writing her again.

Until today.

I invited her to read my blog today.

And as I invite you, I hope she will write back and tell me why being a friend via email is something she has no use for.

And someday soon, I will write another blog dealing with loves lost, loves revisitted and the reactions from ones so intimate who have moved on and don't ever look back.

Sometimes I like to look back.

And I like that.

Do you?